22
May
Today I learned that if you put cream cheese and a thin piece of salami on a cracker and close your eyes and make a wish, it kiiiinda tastes like sushi.
No One Loves You More
Q: You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
A: "I would hit the goat with the slinky to stun him. I'd lay him on the slinky. I'd jump on him and fly out of the well. I'd go find a vet and tell him I randomly saw this well with a sick goat in it and the vet should really do something about it. The vet would admire my kindness, we'd get married, and then we'd have lots of half goat kids even though neither one of us is a goat."
Fine Folk
via fromthegirlwho
